Listening to the Other Side

Like so many others, I read and watched what happened in four separate tragedies across our country the last two weeks. In short, ten innocent people were killed, seemingly without provocation. The horrific events in Louisiana, Minnesota, Dallas, and Louisiana again only reiterated the fact, at least to me, that our country is listing badly in churning seas.

Like millions of other people, I’m struggling with these horrific murders. In itself, murder is heinous under any circumstance. There are legal situations where murder can be considered justified. But, not one of these recent murders falls into that category. In fact, it’s the exact opposite. These murders were caused by hate and fear. That is why we are floundering. Even worse, we seem to be doing so by choice.

Strange as it may sound, these tragedies made me think of teenage drivers and their parents.

For eleven years, I taught driver’s education as a part time job. Our classroom curriculum consisted of seventeen two-hour classes. The second day of class was always my favorite. The first hour I spoke with the teens. I told them why so many of their parents yelled during their drives. It’s based on their perception of the road from their seat. The second hour, the kids worked on an assignment in another location while I spoke with their parents. I told them why so many of their kids yelled during their drives. It’s based on their perception of the road from their seat.

This class was my favorite for one simple reason; it was the class where I made the biggest impact on kids and parents. In short, I was able to show two different groups of people what the opposite group was thinking and why. Parents and kids are in the same car looking out the same windshield. But, perceptions differ based on their experience, reasoning, and position. Once each side understood those perceptions, progress was made.

Without fail, parents and students left class with a greater understanding of why the other would be upset and defensive during their drives.

Were there still arguments? Yes. But, I always heard throughout the course how quickly things changed between parent and student during their drives. In short, there were fewer disputes and problems because both sides understood the viewpoint of the other. Even more important, they were willing to listen and learn about them in the first place.

This is what we are missing in this country. Not nearly enough of us are taking the time to listen and understand what the other side of an issue is doing and why. When that happens, hate and fear take the place of understanding and reasoning. Then people on one side are killed. Then people on the other side are killed. And so on.

Few things are more powerful, easy to spread, and cause more damage as hate and fear. This is nothing new. Those two traits have been around as long as humans have been. They are in our DNA. Those genes just seem to fluctuate between being dominant and recessive in the overall population. It’s not hard to see that lately those two emotions are currently increasing their dominance exponentially.

We should have seen it coming. With smart phones and social media, anyone can be anonymous, yet heard and believed by the masses. It’s so damn easy to blame others for our failures and have those feelings validated. It’s so damn easy to see only one side of the coin and jump to a flash decision. It’s so damn easy to jump into the hot mix of hate and fear by complaining, name-calling, and inciting violence while sitting on our asses in a dark room.

Until, someone decides that talking and posting about it isn’t enough and someone else dies. Then someone else does the same for the opposite side. Then we condemn one side while supporting the other.

The worst part is that it doesn’t stop. It just gains speed and more people die. More families lose parents. Hate and fear continue to grow and grow. And more people die.

The one supposed equalizer of social media is that it’s fair. Both sides of any issue can post whatever they want on the same sites at the same time however many times and ways they wish. That’s fair.

It also doesn’t mean a damn thing if we’re not willing to read what the other side is trying to say and take the time to honestly process it. When listening to the other side doesn’t happen, each side reads and posts its own information and more fuel is thrown on the fire of hate and fear. And more people die.

An innocent man is gunned down by police in Louisiana one day. Another man meets the same fate in Minnesota the next. People are outraged. They should be. Based on the videos and current information, neither man did anything to warrant being killed. Outcries for various forms of justice blanket social media instantly.

The next day, five police officers are killed by a sniper in Dallas. People are outraged. They should be. Based on the videos and current information, none of those men did anything to warrant being killed. Outcries for various forms of justice blanket social media instantly.

#Blacklivesmatter.

#Bluelivesmatter.

#Alllivesmatter.

In my mind, all three of those powerful movements are valid. Many of us agree. We should. It’s basic logic. It’s 2016 for the love of God. Everyone has the same right to live as everyone else, don’t we? If I’m even asking that question, then something is wrong.

To my completely average mind, it still comes down to hate and fear.

Many people are scared of the police. After the dramatic and tragic rise of police killing of civilians the past few years, it’s understandable.

Many police offers are scared of being killed because of their job. After the dramatic and tragic rise of civilians killing police officers the past few years, it’s understandable.

If both sides are feeling the same hate and fear and both can be seen as justified,how does the killing stop?

It’s not as complex as it may appear, at least not to me. Each side needs to understand the other’s fears. Both sides need to listen with open minds and hearts to the other’s reasons for their fears and hatred. Each side needs to be willing to see the other’s perception out the same windshield.

Both sides need to publicly state when one of their own crosses the line. Police need to step up, en masse, and condemn a death when a brother/sister in blue kills someone without proper reason for doing so. Civilians need to step up, en masse, when one of us kills a police officer without proper reason for doing so.

Then, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat until the killing stops.

Of course, it’s not easy to do all that. It’s not easy to do a lot of things we’ve done in our lives. But, if it’s important enough to us, we suck it up and get it done. Lives are at stake. The lives of families are involved. It’s important.

Will listening cure us? Probably not.

But, it’s surely a step in the right direction. It’s much better than sprinting in the wrong one and killing innocent civilians and police along the way. Who knows, it may even help send our hate and fear genes back into recessive mode for awhile.

All that being said, I still maintain one basic truth; we are better than this. I realize that may be naive. I don’t give a shit. It doesn’t mean I’m wrong. Just because it’s easy to criticize a person, or even an entire movement like Black Lives Matter, or an entire occupation like Police Officer, doesn’t mean we should.

I think of it like this; if there wasn’t a serious problem, movements like Black Lives Matter and Blue Lives Matter wouldn’t exist. They wouldn’t need to. But, there is a problem, so they are here. As long as hate and fear continue to dominate as many people as they currently seem to be, people will die.

Both sides will get stronger and the gap between them will grow. And more people will die.

Two seemingly innocent men were killed by police in two days. Since then, eight police officers in two different states have been ambushed and killed. All ten victims were killed because of fear and hate. As long as this circle continues, more will die. More children will lose parents. More funerals will be broadcast showing a young son hugging his father’s coffin. More condemnations will happen by politicians who do nothing to change laws that can make a difference and by citizens who will do nothing to change minds that can make a difference.

As I type this, millions of American adults are coming together to find hidden, imaginary, animated creatures playing Pokemon Go. As entertaining as that game may be, I can’t see it helping to prevent civilians and cops from being killed. If we can come together for Nintendo, why can’t we do it for our country?

Meanwhile, a fourteen-year-old boy in Georgia has more more intuition, honesty, and guts than too many adults who would rather spend their energy ranting about police being racist and violent and Black Lives Matter members being racist and violent than actually listening to the other side and realizing that things could and should be different than they are.

How many of us change our Facebook profile picture to an icon to honor groups of innocent people who have been killed by hate and fear? How many of us do anything else to try to stop it from happening again?

What can we do, you ask? You know damn well what we can do.

Spend more time listening to the other side. You don’t need to agree with them or even like them. You don’t need to change your mind about them. Maybe you might understand why they are acting and reacting the way they are. Maybe they would understand your views. Understanding is not agreeing. It isn’t hating and fearing either. Listening is a start.

So is remembering.

Remembering that those on the other side also have wives and husbands. Remembering they also have kids and families who love and need them, just like your side. Remembering they also deserve to live, just like your side.

Their lives matter, just as yours does.

Our country is damaged in stormy and dangerous seas. In time, every storm passes. The only question is how much damage is done before it moves on. Dark and ominous clouds cause fear and uncertainty. They bring darkness, terror, and can cause tragic losses. They can also dissipate and spare those below.

Sadly, this storm and the damage it has caused, is our fault. We brought this destruction on ourselves based on our hate and fear and unwillingness to listen to the other side. There are only two ways we can go from here. Either it will get worse with more hate and fear and death. Or improvements will be made through listening, understanding, and restraint and lives will be saved.

It’s up to us.

Paying it Backward

Well, here we go again. And again. Another school shooting. Another “tragic day” for another state, city, and school. Another final day for another shooting victim and murderous student at a school. This time Reynolds High School in Troutdale, Oregon. My wife and brother-in-law’s high school and just an hour outside my hometown.

This is on the heels of the school shooting at Seattle Pacific University. Another “tragic” and final day for another innocent student. That shooting was on the heels of the “rampage” in California, where victims were stabbed, shot, and run over.

But, these aren’t “on the heels” of anything, in my opinion. Being on the heels implies were moving forward or towards something ahead of us. I don’t think so. It seems we’re going backwards and we’re not doing it slowly.

Many of us like to “Pay it Forward”. After all, it was a heart wrenching movie and it’s a solid premise. It sounds reasonable and even more importantly, it sounds doable. And we have done it. At Starbucks, for example. How many times have we seen on Facebook someone thanking that kind stranger who paid for someone else’s drink? I heard on the radio last year how the Pay it Forward chain lasted an entire day at one Starbucks in Seattle. That is truly cool. If you like coffee.

We’ve seen great commercials where Pay it Forward seems to be even more realistic. A woman sees a man help an elderly man load groceries his car. In return, that woman helps rake her neighbor’s yard. That neighbor then lets someone pull in front of him in heavy traffic. And on it goes. Again, very nice and so very doable.

Something we seem to forget about the movie Pay it Forward; the kid fucking dies. This innocent kid comes up with a great idea to change the world in a positive way, and he dies, which causes the Pay it Forward phenomenon to truly start. He even gets killed by another kid. At school. Even in Hollywood we have to put up with this crap. But, at least there it made people change. Too bad that doesn’t happen here in the real world. Not in the way it should, anyway.

I can’t even bring myself to read the comments on Facebook and news articles about these shootings anymore. They’re all the same. There’s prayers and sadness and disbelief over the tragedy. Then, there’s arguments back and forth about gun control and the right to bear arms, and right wing versus left wing, and liberal versus conservative. In other words, us against us. Which means these “tragic” days are going to continue as long as we keep Paying it Backward.

It’s no surprise, really. Our leaders are doing the same thing. Ironically, it’s the same lack of caring for others and lack of forethought that many of these shooters seem to have. Think about it. Let’s say the next cowardly killer wants his name known, respected, and feared with a dramatic and pathetic display of violence against unarmed victims. Obviously, it’s been done many times before. Guess what? It’s going to happen again and the last killer's name is going to be replaced by the next coward’s name. The same will happen with that coward’s name. And on it goes, until we wise up and figure out what to do to stop it. Which brings us to our “leaders”.

These are the people we look to in times like this. These are the people the media hound with question after question with camera after camera filming away. These are the people who throw around the “tragic” quotes we’ve all grown so accustomed to hearing. But, then what happens? What changes? Exactly. Which explains our backward trajectory and yet another comparison to the pathetic killers.

These cowards obviously have little, if any, empathy for anyone else. Otherwise, they wouldn’t kill kids and adults alike before committing suicide. The vast majority of these coward shooters end up using one last bullet for themselves, which begs the question: if you’re going to kill yourself anyway, why take anyone else with you?

That is another question we rarely get answered to any satisfaction. Some may be mentally ill. Who knows, maybe they all are. Of course, we have no way of knowing for sure because of our Barnum and Bailey national medical system doesn’t/can’t/won’t provide proper care for those who are mentally ill.

Instead, we pray and argue and blame and lament and cry and rage...and then move on. Until it happens all over again. Most of us seem to realize that something needs to change. Whether it be gun control laws and/or improvement of mental health care, doesn't really matter. Either way, we’ve seen the path we’re currently heading backwards on, and it’s not taking us anywhere we want to go. Something. Must. Change.

But, doing that would mean our leaders would have to do something shocking. They would need to actually agree to sit down and discuss ideas to make some changes without worrying about the NRA or Brady Bill supporters, or any political lobbies. Meaning, they would have to agree to do their jobs. Unless I’m mistaken, these elected leaders are supposed to serve us, the people who elected them.

Until that happens, though, we’re going to keep going backward. We can keep buying each other coffee and opening doors for each other and watching depressing movies about inspirational kids who are killed by bullies. It may not seem like much. Compared to the death of another fourteen-year-old, it isn't. But, it's better than what our leaders are doing. In other words, it's better than nothing.

Who knows, it might start to slow us down a bit. One thing I know about going backward at high speeds, eventually we trip over ourselves and fall. Maybe that's what we need. At least we'd stop moving in the wrong direction. We can pull each other up then, dust ourselves off, look around a bit and realize this our chance.

We might start something a bit more significant. Maybe we'll stop arguing on the comment sections of articles and start talking to our kids about watching out for classmates who might need help, or just a friendly hello. Maybe our leaders will find something to compromise on and start to lead us forward.

It can happen. Something started us on this backward trail and kept pushing until we reached the tripping point we're at now. Which means, something can pull us the other way too. It will take all of us to do that, though. It won't be easy or quick. It never is. But, when we start going forward, our "tragic" days will decrease. More hometowns will be safer. More kids will live longer. More mentally ill people will get more help and fewer guns. And then, more free coffee won't seem so trivial.

Having Four Kids (Part 1)

Humans are a funny bunch. We can be so different in so many ways. We can keep parts of our lives private from those we trust the most, but be so forthcoming about other areas on Facebook and Twitter. Not surprisingly, our openness to others varies from person to person and situation to situation. But, there seem to be certain events, or circumstances, that bring out similarities in large percentages of humans. Over the past three and a half years, my wife and I have discovered that having four kids is one of them.

Complete strangers come up to us nearly every time we leave the house. It can be shopping, eating out, seeing a movie, walking into a hotel, in a small town or large city, crossing into Canada; there doesn't seem to be a filter. Frankly, it's more than a bit puzzling. But, seeing a married couple with four girls jumping around them like poodles waiting to use the same hydrant seems to force out questions from 72% of cashiers, 89% of waitresses, and 74% of random people browsing the same public businesses we are. The most commonly asked questions and statements are below. Enjoy.

"You really have your hands full."
I always use the stock answer, "Every day." But, it's getting harder and harder to fight the urge to come back with, "No, shit." Having four of anything is having your hands full, since, you know, we each only have two hands. But, yes, having four kids is exhausting and we do have our hands full. Is it really necessary to call it out in public? Do I say to the cashier of Wal-Mart or McD's, "Boy, your job must really suck"? These people earn a paycheck by serving people who wear PJ pants at three in the afternoon on a Tuesday. It's implied. So, I don't point out the obvious. It'd be nice if they'd return the favor.

"Are all these girls yours?"
Uh, yes, they are. As a teacher, I know very well the high number of divorced and blended families out there. Apparently, it's quite shocking to many people that my wife and I are the actual birth parents of four kids and neither of us have been divorced. It's depressing to consider that most people automatically assume that we're on our second marriages because we have four kids. 

I'm also aware that many times parents will take their own kids, as well as friends of their children, out in public. But, when they're all calling us "Mommy" and "Daddy", are yelling at each other like only siblings can, and they all look alike, it really shouldn't be that difficult a question to answer on your own. 

"Dad, you better get a gun."
"You guys will be in serious trouble in a few years."
Yes, we have four daughters who are, and I don't want to sound like an arrogant jerk, but they are beautiful. Since I am a male, and was once a teenage male, I know what will be happening soon. But, my preparation does not end there. Far from it.

Do people seriously think I haven't been plotting various intimidation techniques since the first ultrasound showed nothing in the groin area? Why do you think I teach middle school? For the love of kids? Ha! I've been researching the evolving male mind (yes, it does evolve) for the past decade, learning their new techniques, lingo, strategies, moves, favorite singers, movies, clothing styles, anything that may be used to coerce my daughters. Think of me as a longstanding member of 21 Jump Street. I've been infiltrating the enemy's network for some time now. I am well prepared for "serious trouble". Thanks for your concern, kind stranger.

"They all look like your wife."
Well, duh. I would hope so. I've seen women who look like men and vice versa. It can be confusing, I suppose. That's not the case here. I don't look like a girl. My daughters do. So does my wife. It's not surprising they look like her. Thank God. Though, if at least one of them looked like me, I wouldn't be so concerned with the "serious trouble" mentioned above.

"Wow. Dad, you're outnumbered, aren't you?"
Another obvious question. Let's move on.

"Are you going to try for a boy?"
"Are you done?"
"Are you going for a full basketball team?"
I realize in the social media age people share information they never would have shared in the past. But, why would anyone think it's okay to ask these questions? Why do they even care? Are they gathering shopping data for Old Navy? Do they work for the U.S. Census? Are any of these people's lives going to change with knowing the answers to these questions? So, why ask them? Because we have four girls, that's why.

Again, it's very tempting to not to just turn and shoot from the hip. "No, we're not done. You see, I'm 1/8th Apache and my wife is 1/12th Japanese. So, we thought we'd keep going to see if we can eventually have a child who looks like an Asian Native American and really mess with people. And get some kick ass college scholarships."

For the record, yes, we are done. Done and done. No, we never thought to "try for a boy". How does that even work, by the way? Was I supposed to be thinking about baseball? I was always told that strategy was for something else entirely. Perhaps, I was misinformed. 

Truthfully, neither my wife nor I wanted one sex over another. Having a healthy, happy baby was our only real concern. Thankfully, our prayers were answered each time. Actually, by our fourth pregnancy I was actually worried that we might have a boy. Being a father of multiple girls is hard enough. I can't imagine being the brother of three older sisters. Shiver.

I do understand why so many people feel the urge to speak with us in public. We're not a quiet bunch. We stand out. The girls are beautiful. And funny. And so very, very loud. We almost demand a response. It could also be that many people wouldn't have four kids if they were paid a monthly stipend and promised a reality television show. (More on this in the upcoming Part 2 of this topic.) 

I would be surprised if people didn't react to us. But, is it so wrong to expect some originality once in a while? Something different than the standard reactions and questions would be nice. 

"You must be an amazing mom having to deal with so many female issues every day." 
My wife is amazing. I often get the sympathy from those who respond to us in public. While it is appreciated, people really aren't paying attention. My wife deals with many more issues than me. Bathroom trips and handling any problems or discomfort in the genital area are just the tip of the iceberg. (Once more penises enter the picture, I'll be front and center much more frequently.) 

"Wow, Dad, you must be quite manly since you're the only male in your family."
Why, yes, yes, I am. Thanks for noticing.

See the difference in these quick examples than those listed earlier? Try using them next time you see a family with more than two kids. There are other families like ours out there. We have bi-weekly meetings through Skype. (That many families with so many kids would cause a tsunami of public interruptions, so we stick to a much less invasive strategy.) 

Remember, you won't just be helping us; you're be helping yourself and our country's economy. Complimenting instead of questioning always goes much further in earning a larger tip, a heartfelt apology for the mess left behind, and a possible return trip. I agree, it's a bit of a good news/bad news situation. But, so is parenting.

(Again, more coming in Part 2...)

Raping the Rape Victim

The Golden Rule: Treat others as you want to be treated

Seems like a good idea, common sense, even. It's a simple rule of human interaction dating back century upon century. It's a basic principle that works in every culture and religion. So, what's the problem? Obviously, we are.

Sometimes I wonder...will God ever forgive us for what we've done to each other?

I was watching the movie Blood Diamond recently. It's an excellent and disturbing film. It's hard to watch in many places, even more so knowing it's based on true events. Leonardo DiCaprio's mercenary character is talking to Jennifer Connelly's journalist about some of the tragedies he's seen in Africa. I suppose some people might brush that off as being a third world issue. I think we all know better than that. Just watching the news, or looking online, can easily prove that train of thought wrong.

Case in point, a seventeen-year-old girl named Rehtaeh Parsons killed herself in Nova Scotia awhile back. Nearly two years ago, she was allegedly gang raped by four boys.

You've heard it before. A teen party, no adults present, of course. Too much alcohol. Teenage boys take advantage of the situation.

That alone is more than any human, let alone a teenager, should have to bear. But, there's more. The rape itself wasn't enough. Over the next year and a half, she was harassed online and at school. Constantly. 

During the attack, a photo was taken, uploaded, and went viral. As usual, the victim received the abuse. She's a slut. She asked for it. It's her fault. Girls making fun of her, boys asking her out and harassing her. She finally had enough and tried to hang herself. She was taken off life support a few days later.

Now the Canadian authorities are moving on the case they once ignored and closed. Suddenly, new evidence has come to light. I'm sure her mom, who found her and had to cut her down, is relieved at the authorities' prompt response to her daughter's case.

My heart breaks for Rehtaeh. I'm not even sure how to pronounce her name. Yet, my chest is heavy and rage is bubbling just beneath the surface. It would be bad enough if this happened to one girl. But, it's never just one girl.

Many of us know about the recent case in Steubenville, Ohio, involving over-privileged high school football players. To no one's surprise, alcohol was involved, so was a witness using a smartphone to film the act. Again, no responsible adults. Again, the victim was on the receiving end of a non-stop Twitter barrage that blamed her. Even once the boys were convicted, it's still the victim's fault. She's still being bombarded on social media for ruining the boys' lives. It seems few are concerned with the victim's life.

A girl in California named Audrie Pott, 15, committed suicide for the same thing. Alcohol. Raped by three boys. Photo taken. Uploaded, going viral. Harassment. Three teen boys have been arrested. According to their lawyer, people should reserve judgment and his clients should be considered innocent. Hmmm. That's an excellent idea. But, it's too late to reserve judgment on Audrie, isn't it? Or Rehtaeh. Or the victim in Steubenville. Or all the others in the past, present, and future. We all know there are more out there.

What happened to treating each other like we want to be treated? We've all made mistakes, some much bigger and more tragic than others. Many, many, many of them involve alcohol. I'm asking those pathetic "friends" and classmates of these victims, how would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot?

Teens rarely do anything alone, especially drink. What happened to Audrie, Rehtaeh, and all the others could've happened to their friends, right? Are these friends really that much smarter, or better, or different than the victims? Whatever happened to people actually supporting a friend who's going through a tough time? Isn't that the whole point of having a friend? Being there for the fun stuff is easy. Anyone can do that. It's the rough times when friends are actually needed.

I haven't seen any of these photos or videos that were taken and uploaded in each case. But, they all sound the same. They all seem to involve an unconscious or semi-conscious girl. There's vomit nearby. She has no idea what is happening to her. And yet, the blame is placed on her. Every. Fucking. Time.

Is the victim partially to blame for being there and putting herself in a potentially dangerous situation? Yes. Who hasn't done something similar? Any time anyone drinks publicly, there's a risk. Any time you get behind the wheel of car, or even the passenger or back seat, you're putting yourself in danger.

I've always considered rape to be the most heinous crime of all. Now, I'm not so sure. As repulsive and damaging as the act is, the response of people after the victim comes forward seems to be worse. At least to me. I can't imagine going through both. Whatever mistakes a person has made, no one deserves that.

Those thoughts alone have forced me to reconsider a truth of fatherhood I never thought possible.

My wife knows that if any of our girls are harmed in such a way, I will go to jail. There's never been any hesitation about what I would do. I don't own a gun. But, I know plenty who do. I might even borrow my cousin's bow. I will kill anyone who harms any of my girls. And I'll do it slowly. There's never been any doubt. Rape committed against my daughter. Rapist dead. Slowly. Simple. I've long accepted that as gospel.

Only it's not so simple anymore. I'd have to wait to see who would be blamed for the crime. I might have to delay killing those responsible for the attack to find out if my victimized and broken daughter will be betrayed by her friends and harassed by everyone else. I never considered my daughter might be bullied and blamed for being attacked, that her friends might turn on her. It's hard enough to even visualize the act itself.

It does make me wonder about my teen years. If something had happened like that in my hometown, and we had Facebook, Twitter, and texting, would we blame the victim? Would the girl be blamed and the boys championed? Of course, we had a crappy football team, so maybe not.

The second half of DiCaprio's Blood Diamond quote keeps popping back up to the surface no matter how much I try to push it down...

Then I look around and I realize...God left this place a long time ago.

Personally, I don't believe that to be true. But, it does make me wonder, has His work left? Think about it. Who's responsible for spreading God's will and work? We are. But, if we're too busy harassing rape victims and defending the actual rapists, I can't see things getting any better. Which only leaves one possible direction.

The more I think about this, the more depressed I become. In order for the Golden Rule to work, before we can truly treat others how we want to be treated, one basic event has to happen. We actually have to care about others. Because if we don't care, why would God stick around? Even more upsetting, would we even be able to tell the difference?

Shut Us Down; Kick 'Em Out

I heard something disturbing on the radio this morning. A local radio station had a news break about the government shutdown. The DJ repeated a quote from overseas, stating, "The American government is sucking the blood out of their own people." That's one way of putting it. The problem I had wasn't the quote itself, it's actually quite astute, but who said it. Al Qaeda.

No, I'm not kidding. 

For the first time in history, I heard something from these terrorists that didn't make me feel like I'm looking through a red cloud. Nope. This time, they were right. They made sense. F**king Al Qaeda.

What that does say about our country when a group of terrorists make more sense than our "leaders"? 

I read an interesting article this week. Apparently, a very similar government dispute happened in Australia in 1975. Parliament couldn't agree on a budget and there was a government shutdown. The Queen of England's right hand man fired the Prime Minister in Australia and appointed a new one. Shockingly, a budget was quickly approved. His first action was to sack the entire Australian Parliament. Boom. No more government shutdown. They haven't had an issue since. Sounds good to me. Of course, it also makes sense, so Lord knows that can't happen here. We're too busy dealing with our seventeenth shutdown. Yes, seventeenth.

Of course, Australia had to have massive new elections to restock their Parliament. Fine with me. Personally, I'm all in for restocking our shelves. Every once in awhile, we need to clear out the old food from the fridge. I can smell that spoiled food in D.C. all the way out here in Starbucksland. Let's toss 'em.

We might elect leaders who actually care about our country. It's pretty obvious that our current "leaders" don't. Listen to any member of Congress, or any news show on any television station, they are always talking about Democrat and Republican strategies. And that's the problem. As usual, they're not prioritizing properly.

Why are they all so worried about their political party and not about the overall country? Why is it always us against them, instead of us working together, to solve a problem? Simple. They don't care. That's why.

Why don't they care? Why don't they do their damn jobs? Because they don't have to. 

Has any member of Congress been furloughed? No. Is there even a remote possibility that would happen? No. Does the shutdown effect them at all? No. Everyone hates them anyway; they know it. We know it. No one has any confidence in them; they know it. We know it. It's been that way for years and nothing has changed. So, why should they do their jobs?

Doing your job well comes from two main sources, pride and fear. When people take pride in their work, they want to solve a problem. They stay late, arrive early, communicate with others and compromise to solve the issue. It's obvious, if these "leaders" actually had any sense of pride in doing their job effectively, this shutdown never would have happened. But, it did, and that speaks volumes.

That leaves fear. Most of us know that if we don't do our job effectively, we won't have that job anymore. Anyone think our "leaders" have that same knowledge? I'm thinking, no. What do they fear? Most of them have been there for years, if not decades. They argue and bicker and accomplish nothing again and again and again, and they're still there. They've dug in deep and they're sucking us dry. We need to send in a veterinarian to burn them out like a tick chewing on a dog's flesh.

These "leaders" came to the difficult decision that their members only free gym is "essential" enough to stay open, at tax payer expense. Yet, the Center for Disease Control in Atlanta could only keep one person watching for disease outbreaks for our entire country. Today, they brought back numerous more employees when there was an outbreak of eighteen people getting Salmonella from a Foster Farms chicken farm in California. 

Apparently, there was sound reasoning behind this decision. "This job is very stressful and if you don't have a place to vent, you are going to go crazy..." said Rep. Don Young (R-Alaska). Yep. Absolutely. Not doing your job and screwing over three hundred million Americans must be exhausting. Grab an extra towel (that we're paying for) when you hit that sauna, Mr. Young. After all, having free access to a basketball court is far more important, excuse me, essential, than the Head Start program. Be sure to follow through with that jump shot, because missing that big shot could add even more stress, and we can't have that. 

Something tells me that if we did dump our beloved "leaders", the next group might be a bit more concerned with keeping their jobs, which would mean they might actually do their jobs. Imagine that. Well, imagining is all we can do. We all know there is no way our "leaders" are going anywhere. But, then again, we keep bringing over television shows from across the pond, maybe we can bring some common sense, too.

Or, I could take my family and we could go throw another shrimp on the barbie. After all, summer is right around the corner Down Under. Which makes me wonder, if we all went on "walk-about", would our "leaders" even notice? Or would the steam from the stress-reducing sauna keep fogging up their vision?

George Zimmerman

Like many people, I have strong feelings about the American justice system. Often, those feelings fall on the negative side, especially after large, well-publicized cases end with unpopular or surprising verdicts like O.J. Simpson and Casey Anthony. Now, George Zimmerman has joined the club.

Granted, I am not a lawyer and I didn't hear all the evidence, but I'm still having a hard time with this verdict. First, Zimmerman seems like a decent enough guy. I'm sure he regrets his actions. (I expect the reasons for his regret are tangled around killing a teen and the wrath he's taken from the public ever since and will continue to take for years to come. Either way, regret is regret.) I'm sure he'd take it back if he could.

I know he never meant for things to go this far. By all indications, Zimmerman is a solid guy who wanted to be something he wasn't, a cop. So, he did the next best thing (in his mind); he became the head of his neighborhood's watch program. Good for him. Seriously.

I'm all for citizens looking out for their neighbors. By all means, if you see a suspicious person, call 911. Well done. Accept the appreciation of your neighbors and the thanks from the local police and go about your business. Zimmerman had done this many times before. According to police records, he had called 911 forty-six times since 2004. Unfortunately, he had other ideas with call forty-seven. And that's where the worm turns.

From the last 911 call, it's obvious that Zimmerman is irritated by Trayvon Martin. "Assholes like this always get away." We've all made instant judgments of people we haven't met. I've done it many times, I'm sad to say. Maybe they are assholes and maybe they aren't. Either way, I haven't shot any of them. Most of us don't.

George Zimmerman crossed the line. Many lines, actually. When you go against the directions of a 911 operator who you called, you're crossing a line. When you step out of the car and initiate contact with a "real suspicious" person, you're crossing a line. When you get out of that car with a gun, you're crossing a much more dangerous line. When you shoot and kill an unarmed teenager, you're crossing a tragic, life altering/ending line.

Crossing lines is like running down a steep hill. The more lines you cross, the steeper the hill, the faster you run, and the harder it is to stop yourself. That can be an exhilarating feeling to be on the edge like that. It can also be scary. You may see the next, thickest line coming up fast. By that time, your forward momentum gets to the point that it's impossible to pull yourself back. I think this is what happened to George Zimmerman and what killed Trayvon Martin.

Some people believe that Trayvon Martin's death was "justifiable" and apparently the six jurors did, as well. I can't see how. All he did wrong was buy a soda and Skittles and walk down the same road George Zimmerman was driving down at the same time. I've tried to visualize what exactly Zimmerman saw that was so upsetting. According to his 911 call, Zimmerman was concerned because Trayvon was wearing a hoodie and walking in the rain. (Good thing George Zimmerman lives in Florida. In the Pacific Northwest, his 911 calls would've been in the hundreds instead of under fifty.) But, if Trayvon was doing anything suspicious, wouldn't someone else have seen something? Apparently not.

I've read the transcript from his 911 call. Zimmerman never states what was so suspicious about Trayvon Martin. I wonder if he even knows now. He says This guy looks like he's up to no good, or he's on drugs or something. He never says why he thinks this. Even if he did believe it, why approach someone who you think is on drugs when no one is at immediate risk? There were no other people around. The police were on their way. Why risk setting this "suspect" off and possibly making things worse? 

Even if Martin was doing something wrong, Zimmerman had already called 911. The police were coming. Why get out of the car at all? Why bring a gun unless to initiate something? People have said that Zimmerman probably had the gun to protect himself. From what, a sugar high? 

Florida has the much publicized and maligned "Stand Your Ground" Law. So be it. But, I still don't see how that applies in this case. Again, Trayvon Martin was walking down the street eating candy. What exactly was George Zimmeran standing his ground against? 

I keep hearing the debate in court and in the social media about who was beating up who. Zimmerman's back was wet and had grass on it. His nose was bleeding. Maybe Martin was kicking Zimmerman's ass. Maybe he did fear for his life. But, he chose to cross those lines that got him to that point in the first place. The only lines that we know for sure that Martin crossed were the ones on the sidewalk. 

This isn't a rant for or against gun control. Zimmerman had every legal right to carry a pistol. More power to him. Maybe it fed his wannabe cop persona, maybe it really was for protection, whatever. I don't really care. The problem I have is a grown man made poor decisions that ended with the death of an innocent teenager. It never should have happened. A "Not Guilty" verdict should not have happened either.

I can't help but wonder...would George Zimmerman feel any differently if it were his son who was shot down in the same situation? Would he think justice had been done with a "Not Guilty" verdict? Would he feel his son's death was justified? Would any of us? 

How many of us were accused of looking like we were "up to no good" when we were seventeen? How many of our neighbors had guns? Obviously, we're all still here. Seems like our neighbors used better common sense than George Zimmerman and those six jurors.

One last thought. Zimmerman has been receiving death threats since the incident happened. Those threats have spiked considerably since the verdict. That's not surprising really. It happens every time a well publicized case ends with an unpopular verdict. 

If I were Zimmerman, I wouldn't worry too much about those threats. Usually, people like that are simply blowing off steam. Those threats are rarely acted upon. I'd be more concerned about walking down the street in the rain, eating a snack. He'd better not be wearing a hoodie either. 

Under those circumstances, any of us, including George Zimmerman, and our children, are fair, "justifiable" game. 

Going Viral for the Wrong Reason

It seems nearly every week, I hear about some new video that's "gone viral" on YouTube. Normally, I try to avoid them. Honestly, many of them seem ridiculous, annoying, and involve people doing something stupid. I get enough of that on a daily basis teaching middle school. I don't need to spend extra time in front of my computer watching more. But, I saw one yesterday. I wish I hadn't. It was a day ago and I'm still pissed.

Some twelve-year-old punk in Las Vegas saw a police motorcycle parked on a sidewalk outside a mini-mart. He waited for the cop to come out with his soda and then walked up to him while filming. He asked the policeman why he was parked on the sidewalk. Then he asked for the cop's badge number. Not surprisingly, the policeman wants to know why. 

"Because I have the right to."

And the cop has the right not to give it to a twelve-year-old punk who's filming him. What police officer in his/her right mind would give a badge number to anyone while they're being recorded on a public street? Would you give your phone number and address to someone under the same circumstances?

What bothers me the most about this is that most people commenting on YouTube are praising the kid. Apparently, he has "guts" and "bravery". Uh, no. The cop has guts and bravery. He's a policeman in Las Vegas. I can't imagine the kind of crap this man sees on and off duty in that town on a daily basis. In my opinion, he can park wherever the hell he wants. He can park on Wayne Newton's hair piece for all I care. 

The cop is being called arrogant and disrespectful because he parked on a sidewalk for the amount of time it took him to buy a soda. Really? Maybe the cop parked on the sidewalk to avoid taking up a legitimate parking spot. How many times have we fell for the mirage of an empty parking spot only to see it's taken up by some damn motorcycle. Personally, I'd prefer it if more motorcycles parked on sidewalks. More parking spots for the rest of us. Even if he did park on the sidewalk to save time, I don't care. He didn't set up a speed trap or a drug buy or sting operation while parked there. He bought a soda. Stop the presses.

The boy is also being praised for being polite. Please. Was the kid swearing or yelling? No. That doesn't mean he isn't a punk. I'm guessing he sees the bike parked there and thinks he can make a cop look foolish on video. Apparently, he was right. Which is just pathetic. I'm all for catching a cop for breaking the law. Film a bunch of cops beating an unarmed suspect. Damn straight. Record a policeman receiving a bribe. Absolutely. Film a cop stealing drugs or weapons. Well done. Film a cop soliciting a prostitute. Fine. But, this nowhere near that. This is sad.

Why do cops wear guns and tasers and mace and bulletproof vests? Because they could be gunned down eating lunch in a diner in Tacoma, Washington like four officers were a few years back. They can be killed on a routine traffic stop that seems to happen every freaking month. They can be killed trying to help during a domestic call. They can be killed trying to stop a robbery like my great grandfather in Seattle. They show up for work and can be attacked and killed a hundred different ways. They know this and they still do it. For us. But, we applaud some punk who films a cop getting a Pepsi and returning to his illegally parked bike? This is what we care about? Seriously?

Something tells me if this man served and protected you in a time of need, you wouldn't give a damn where he parked. Why can't that go viral?

Since this kid is so concerned with the law, I'm sure he won't mind being ticketed every time he jaywalks. Or is out after curfew. Or disposes of used batteries improperly. I'm sure he won't mind if his parents are ticketed for speeding. Every day. After all, the police have that right. Don't they, kid?

Whatever does happen, he brought it on himself. He broke the cardinal rule of his own town. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. 

At least it should have.