Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Paying it Backward

Well, here we go again. And again. Another school shooting. Another “tragic day” for another state, city, and school. Another final day for another shooting victim and murderous student at a school. This time Reynolds High School in Troutdale, Oregon. My wife and brother-in-law’s high school and just an hour outside my hometown.

This is on the heels of the school shooting at Seattle Pacific University. Another “tragic” and final day for another innocent student. That shooting was on the heels of the “rampage” in California, where victims were stabbed, shot, and run over.

But, these aren’t “on the heels” of anything, in my opinion. Being on the heels implies were moving forward or towards something ahead of us. I don’t think so. It seems we’re going backwards and we’re not doing it slowly.

Many of us like to “Pay it Forward”. After all, it was a heart wrenching movie and it’s a solid premise. It sounds reasonable and even more importantly, it sounds doable. And we have done it. At Starbucks, for example. How many times have we seen on Facebook someone thanking that kind stranger who paid for someone else’s drink? I heard on the radio last year how the Pay it Forward chain lasted an entire day at one Starbucks in Seattle. That is truly cool. If you like coffee.

We’ve seen great commercials where Pay it Forward seems to be even more realistic. A woman sees a man help an elderly man load groceries his car. In return, that woman helps rake her neighbor’s yard. That neighbor then lets someone pull in front of him in heavy traffic. And on it goes. Again, very nice and so very doable.

Something we seem to forget about the movie Pay it Forward; the kid fucking dies. This innocent kid comes up with a great idea to change the world in a positive way, and he dies, which causes the Pay it Forward phenomenon to truly start. He even gets killed by another kid. At school. Even in Hollywood we have to put up with this crap. But, at least there it made people change. Too bad that doesn’t happen here in the real world. Not in the way it should, anyway.

I can’t even bring myself to read the comments on Facebook and news articles about these shootings anymore. They’re all the same. There’s prayers and sadness and disbelief over the tragedy. Then, there’s arguments back and forth about gun control and the right to bear arms, and right wing versus left wing, and liberal versus conservative. In other words, us against us. Which means these “tragic” days are going to continue as long as we keep Paying it Backward.

It’s no surprise, really. Our leaders are doing the same thing. Ironically, it’s the same lack of caring for others and lack of forethought that many of these shooters seem to have. Think about it. Let’s say the next cowardly killer wants his name known, respected, and feared with a dramatic and pathetic display of violence against unarmed victims. Obviously, it’s been done many times before. Guess what? It’s going to happen again and the last killer's name is going to be replaced by the next coward’s name. The same will happen with that coward’s name. And on it goes, until we wise up and figure out what to do to stop it. Which brings us to our “leaders”.

These are the people we look to in times like this. These are the people the media hound with question after question with camera after camera filming away. These are the people who throw around the “tragic” quotes we’ve all grown so accustomed to hearing. But, then what happens? What changes? Exactly. Which explains our backward trajectory and yet another comparison to the pathetic killers.

These cowards obviously have little, if any, empathy for anyone else. Otherwise, they wouldn’t kill kids and adults alike before committing suicide. The vast majority of these coward shooters end up using one last bullet for themselves, which begs the question: if you’re going to kill yourself anyway, why take anyone else with you?

That is another question we rarely get answered to any satisfaction. Some may be mentally ill. Who knows, maybe they all are. Of course, we have no way of knowing for sure because of our Barnum and Bailey national medical system doesn’t/can’t/won’t provide proper care for those who are mentally ill.

Instead, we pray and argue and blame and lament and cry and rage...and then move on. Until it happens all over again. Most of us seem to realize that something needs to change. Whether it be gun control laws and/or improvement of mental health care, doesn't really matter. Either way, we’ve seen the path we’re currently heading backwards on, and it’s not taking us anywhere we want to go. Something. Must. Change.

But, doing that would mean our leaders would have to do something shocking. They would need to actually agree to sit down and discuss ideas to make some changes without worrying about the NRA or Brady Bill supporters, or any political lobbies. Meaning, they would have to agree to do their jobs. Unless I’m mistaken, these elected leaders are supposed to serve us, the people who elected them.

Until that happens, though, we’re going to keep going backward. We can keep buying each other coffee and opening doors for each other and watching depressing movies about inspirational kids who are killed by bullies. It may not seem like much. Compared to the death of another fourteen-year-old, it isn't. But, it's better than what our leaders are doing. In other words, it's better than nothing.

Who knows, it might start to slow us down a bit. One thing I know about going backward at high speeds, eventually we trip over ourselves and fall. Maybe that's what we need. At least we'd stop moving in the wrong direction. We can pull each other up then, dust ourselves off, look around a bit and realize this our chance.

We might start something a bit more significant. Maybe we'll stop arguing on the comment sections of articles and start talking to our kids about watching out for classmates who might need help, or just a friendly hello. Maybe our leaders will find something to compromise on and start to lead us forward.

It can happen. Something started us on this backward trail and kept pushing until we reached the tripping point we're at now. Which means, something can pull us the other way too. It will take all of us to do that, though. It won't be easy or quick. It never is. But, when we start going forward, our "tragic" days will decrease. More hometowns will be safer. More kids will live longer. More mentally ill people will get more help and fewer guns. And then, more free coffee won't seem so trivial.