Million Dollar Rooms

I guess I'm unusual in many ways. I have four daughters. I have three jobs, all involving teaching kids. I'm a lifelong fan of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, who has never been to Florida. I'm an Irish Catholic who doesn't drink much. And, I do not like reality television.

I could care less about American Idol or Survivor or The Bachelor/Bachelorette. I've never seen Jersey Shore or The Amazing Race. I simply don't care. In fact, just the premise of most of those shows annoys the hell out of me.

Of course, none of that means that I don't watch reality television. It's borderline impossible not to. It seems like two thirds of the networks available revolve around reality shows. There are some shows I rather enjoy. Not surprisingly, they revolve around sports and food. (Chopped is my personal favorite.)

But, since I am married with children, I end up watching far more reality shows than I normally would. Our girls love the Food Network. Cupcake Wars is quite popular, along with Sweet Genius (though, I swear that host is the creepiest person on television, with the possible exception of Kim Kardashian). 

Like many families with kids, we allow our children to watch a limited number of stations on television, basically three. HGTV, the Food Network, and if we're really in the mood to be tortured and outraged, the Disney Channel. (I'll get to that disaster of a network at a later time.)

My wife enjoys real estate reality shows. I watch quite a few with her, and I don't mind them too much. Except for one. Million Dollar Rooms may be the most vile show on television not airing on Fox. To put it bluntly, that show pisses me off almost instantly. If you haven't seen it, it's not hard to guess its premise. It's a show that gives the viewer tours of amazingly beautiful rooms that cost over a million dollars to create. Not the most original concept. Anyone remember Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous?

Each episode showcases several homes. The host gets a guided tour, either by the home owner, a member of the owner's entourage, or a realtor. We're supposed to be blown away by the glorious materials (ivory from Africa, granite from Italy, metal from the third moon of Saturn, etc), along with the beauty and creativity of its design. Of course, everything is impressive. Spending $250,000 on a staircase better buy some open mouths and bulging eyes, along with a massage and sound financial advice. It also buys extreme agitation and disgust.

Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous had such a long run for two main reasons, I think. One, at that time period (mid '80's to mid '90's), there were far fewer television networks and shows to watch. This was one of them. That, and Robin Leach was just fascinating to watch. The man was weird. Second, the country wasn't in the shitter back then. 

Don't get me wrong, there have always been rich people and poor people. There always will be. Rich people waste money on "necessities" and complain about paying taxes. Poor people complain about rich people and drink Old Milwaukee. It's a time honored tradition. Rich people have lots of money, the rest of us don't. I get it. It doesn't mean it should be broadcast internationally. 

I saw a happy couple on the show last week glowing with pride about their Mayan indoor pool. (I sincerely doubt there were too many glass encased indoor pools in ancient Mexico, but I digress.) Even though the "room" cost well over a million dollars, "It's paid for itself a thousand times over" because of the joy it's brought their two children. Yeah. Whatever. I grew up with a Slip 'n Slide and a squirt gun and was quite pleased. Kids down the street run through a fifteen-year-old sprinkler in their underwear and have a blast. And the neighbor kids don't have to sign an insurance waiver to play. Of course, they aren't driven over in a limo either.

Another woman, after showing her breathtaking home, took the camera crew up in her helicopter, so they could truly "appreciate" the view. Really? Everything looks better from a helicopter. Tijuana looks like a splendid city from up there.

I realize people can spend their money however they please. If someone wants to drop millions of dollars on a 18,000 square foot house for their family of four, more power to them. I'm sure they give gobs of their money to the local soup kitchen too. But, that wouldn't be interesting television, now would it? That's what bothers me the most. Television executives decided this would a show worth broadcasting. Apparently, they were right. Obviously, I've seen it myself. 

I'm curious, though. How much thought and discussion is put into showing citizens who use their money to help people and inspire others? Even more important, how many of us would watch it if they did?