Kohl's

Everyone likes to save money. In America, we all know that to save money, we have to spend money. I'm sure other countries would disagree with that, but there is simply no way the most powerful country with the most outrageous debt could possibly be wrong. Spending money to save money is what we do. 

But, spending isn't enough; the consumer must know exactly how much they saved. After all, how could we possibly know how much we saved without being told? It's too important to leave to chance. Just ask Kohl's.

One of the main pleasures of shopping at Kohl's is being handed the receipt. The helpful and polite cashier doesn't just hand over your receipt, she tells you how much you saved. She even circles it! The hard part is not laughing too hard when this ritual is done. Apparently, I'm supposed to be impressed by this rather large number circled and printed in bold type.

Our last visit to Kohl's was pretty typical. We bought a few t-shirts and gift items for Father's Day that were on sale (more savings!). Apparently, the sale was even better than we thought and what was advertised. We paid $50 and saved $80! Uh, no we didn't. There is no way those items were worth one hundred and thirty clams. How do I know this? Because we were at Kohl's. 

The clothing in question were no doubt made by oppressed children in the Philippines, or some place similar. As Martin Starr says in the great movie Adventureland, "We pay little Malaysian kids ten cents a day to make these things. We can't just give them away." Too true. But, at these (sale) prices, we come pretty damn close.

The idea behind this entry is not to discuss child labor practices in third world countries. Honestly, I have no idea where Kohl's clothing is made. It could be in Akron, Ohio for all I know. I'm just curious. Why pretend that every consumer is saving dozens, if not hundreds, of dollars with every single purchase? Why isn't it enough to simply sell your merchandise at a fair price and leave it at that? 

The answer is not difficult to surmise. We love to feel like we've accomplished something, even when we haven't. It makes us feel important, like we're actually doing something. Pretty powerful stuff, really. Just ask any politician. 

It's so much nicer to think, Not only did I buy three kickass shirts, but I saved $37! We get so impressed with ourselves that we update our status on Facebook. That way, our "friends" can be impressed too. Life is sweet. 

Of course, it doesn't seem to matter that we never would spend the supposed full price for those same shirts. Instead, we would drop the price tag as if it had Herpes, laugh at the price, and move on. Perhaps, we would even criticize the color, the quality of the material, and the ever-so-clever phrase across the chest. But, once we realize how cheap the shirt is, and how much we would save if we bought it (of course, we have to wait for the cashier to tell us), the shirt suddenly seems like quite the deal. It's just too good to pass up. Especially with so many colors and patterns to choose from! Like so many other things in life, it's all in the perception.

All that being said, it really isn't Kohl's fault. If they didn't have data showing we were actually impressed with these tactics, they wouldn't use them. It's really quite disturbing when you think about it. But, so is the idea of little Malaysian kids possibly making these shirts. Either way, the more I know, the more I Kohl's. Which is far better than Wal-Mart. Always.