Arming Teachers

Well, that didn't take long, did it? Appropriately, our collective hearts were broken and bleeding after the Newtown school massacre. People are still reeling, as am I. So many innocent, young children killed by a coward. Teachers, a school psychologist, and a principal also murdered. Heavy, brutal, disturbing stuff. Exactly the kind of event that spurs discussion and debate about possible changes to our system. As seems to be the American M.O., the two main ideas of change are as far apart as can be.

Many people are screaming for gun control, stricter laws forbidding automatic weapons and ammunition like the pathetic Sandy Hook shooter used. Many people and the NRA are screaming for more police presence and guns in schools, including arming and training teachers. Since I am a teacher, I thought I'd chime in.

There is no way in hell I will ever bring a loaded gun to school. Ever.

There are three main reasons for my declaration. One, the temptation to misuse a handgun would be difficult to handle. I currently have two seventh graders who are earning, I kid you not, a 2% for their grades in my English class. It's actually quite difficult to pull off such a low score. Someone has to work at not working to earn such a ridiculously low grade. But, these two boys do. Their parents are well aware of this and don't care. At least, they don't care enough to actually do something about it.

I can't do anything about it either. In my district, middle school students are not held back. Ever. Which means, if a seventh grade student of mine chooses to fail every single class, we still pass him on to the eighth grade. Apparently, it can be quite damaging to a student socially if he repeats a grade in middle school. Personally, I think it could help. How many kids can legally drive as a freshman? How many eighth graders? An eighth grader with a license and a goatee could have more dates than Bieber, but I digress.

If I had a loaded handgun, I could get these kids to at least pull off a C. I imagine a scenario something like this...

"Billy, wake up. Why aren't you working on your assignment?"

"I don't feel like it."

"Billy, I swear to you, if you do not get your work done, and done well, in the next fifteen minutes, I will shoot you in the leg. I have a Glock, right here. I've been trained by the NRA. You've done nothing for the past three months. I want a completed assignment out of you and I want it now. I don't even care what it is, just a completed assignment. From you. Today. Otherwise, you will be limping for the next six weeks. This is not Halo 4, Billy; it will hurt. A lot. Do you understand?"

I don't expect I'd get outstanding quality from such intimidation, but I'm guessing I'd get some decent, solid work that I haven't been getting otherwise. It would come at a price. But, I assume the NRA would pay for any legal issues that might come my way. Maybe even my therapy.

It might seem that I'm being too lighthearted or disrespectful with such a scenario, but honestly, it's not meant that way. I didn't become a teacher for the money. Nobody does. Most teachers go above and beyond for their students and we do so quietly. We spend more time, energy, and money on our students than most people realize. That being said, it is beyond aggravating when a student chooses intentionally to not even try on a daily basis. It's even worse when the parent(s) doesn't care or has given up. My scenario with "Billy" might seem like a stretch, but trust me, it's not nearly as fanciful as it should be.

A second reason for my refusal to ever bring a gun to school is an obvious one, safety. Keeping loaded guns on a typical school campus is just asking for trouble. There are no secrets in school. Ask anyone who's been bullied or harassed. Any secret, no matter how safe it may appear to be, will not stay that way. Kids talk. Constantly. Teachers talk even more than our students. Parents talk and complain and text more than their kids. It doesn't matter if the location(s) of a loaded gun on school grounds is supposed to be confidential. It will not stay that way. I guarantee it.

If people know where the guns are, that means we will have accidental shootings and deaths across our country's schools. Kids do stupid things. Sad, but true. Far too many kids would die from guns at school that would be meant to protect them. From other guns.

Then there's the threat from exterior dangers. My school, for example, has been broken into more times than I care to count. All fourteen of my school's portables were broken into during one night a few years back. If someone wants to steal a gun, it would not be hard to steal one from the local grade/middle/high school. When schools can't afford teachers, or textbooks, or paper, security is not exactly high tech, if it's even there at all.

I teach in a portable. It was constructed from plywood, paint, and nails that bend when they get wet. The thing was built well over twenty years ago. There are literally holes in the bottom of my outer walls. I probably have Disney animal families living beneath my classroom floor. There could be whole communities of mice and raccoons living there in apartment buildings and condos right now. If I shot a bullet through my floor I'd have PETA suing my ass by sixth period. Again, not the best security for keeping a gun safe.

Then there's reason number three. It's simple. I don't want to teach in that kind of environment. A very good friend of mine "shared" a picture on Facebook recently. It showed a teacher in the Middle East with an M-16 hanging from her shoulder as she led her kids into her classroom. The point being that a pathetic coward with a gun would most likely not be trying to shoot her kids if he knew she'd be returning fire. True enough.

But, there's a reason why I don't teach in Israel. I'm sure the kids there are very nice and polite. It's much warmer there. It's even a dry heat. I'd probably get to drive a Hummer. But, I don't want to teach with an assault rifle within arm's reach. If I did, I'd live there. Or Texas.

Teaching is hard enough the way it is now. I'm not going to add gun training on top of it. Where would it stop? Obviously, I'd need to read up on hollow-point wound care, as well. I would need a good supply of gauze pads, tourniquets, and a backboard hanging from the wall behind my desk, wouldn't I?

What if, God forbid, a gunman came into my school and I grabbed my weapon and went after him? What if I shot? What if I missed? What if I killed a student? Or a fellow teacher? What if I just hit the wall behind him and he kept shooting while I kept missing? Just because someone is trained to use a gun doesn't mean that person will be able to use it properly or effectively in a crisis. Soldiers and cops have frozen on the job in similar spots. Who's to say I wouldn't too? Who's to say the cops wouldn't shoot me thinking I'm the shooter? Who's to say I wouldn't be sued or prosecuted for wounding/killing a student, even the shooter?

What if I do take him out and become a national hero? Does that mean I'd feel great about it? Killing is hard. Not everyone can handle it, even when it's justified. That's why we don't all carry guns. That's why some of us choose careers where using guns is not part of the job description.

I realize the chances of legally arming teachers are slim. But, so are the odds of a coward showing up to a grade school with automatic weapons and plowing through kids and staff.

Teachers in Utah were provided free gun training by a gun lobby this past December. Over two hundred teachers showed up. Lovely. Gun training is provided for free. How about some free technology or supplies or something that would help students, I don't know, learn? Of course not.

Then again, there are far more than two hundred teachers in Utah. Maybe they had other things to do instead of learning to shoot at someone accurately. Maybe they were grading papers, writing lessons, or spending time with their families. Or just maybe, some of them were working on finding non-violent ways to fight violence.

Why would the media, and anyone else, be interested in that?

While that question remains unanswered, I think I'll continue to teach, unarmed, in my Disney-infested portable. I'll continue to work with my two, uh, underachievers, along with the rest of my students. And I'll keep praying that, for once, the innocent victims of a shooting haven't died in vain. That maybe, somehow, our leaders will find a way to improve the safety and learning at our nation's schools.

I know what you're thinking. But, being a teacher means being patient. Besides, I can't retire for another thirty years or so anyway. I've got time. Let's hope we all do.